Stupid
by slasher13
Summary: Kyle is being forced to take a stupid girl, to a stupid ball-room event, and learn a stupid dance. So his parents leave for protesting, Stan and Kenny go on a camping trip without him and it seems that only Cartman is left to embarrassingly help him learn to slow dance...But there IS one other person... hinted Kyman in the beginning Craig X Kyle Main Pairing 4-PART STORY
1. A Stupid Start

**I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at my phone; I watched my fingers text in the horrid words. I cringed as I re-read it… Should I really be doing this? Have I lost my fricken mind? Maybe I should delete it before I- **

**Sent. **

**Damn it. I tossed my cellphone next to me, into my green covers. I nervously taped my foot, hearing the squeak of the floor. What am I doing, oh my god, what the hell; He wouldn't ever respond…Yea, he hates me anyway. I mean he's always going off about my religion and- **

**_Beep_****. **

**I stared at my phone as it scornfully mocked me with its lit up screen that virtually read **

_**New Message **_

**_From: Fat ass_**** .**

**I gulped as I picked up the phone fast, but went to open the text slowly. I mean, I just asked for the asshole to come over. I didn't exactly mention why. Oh lord, I hope he won't ask me why…**

**I read his message, and felt relief swarm my body.**

_**Fat Ass:**_

_**um...whatever. I'll be there in 10.**_

**I laid on my bed sighing in contempt that the moron didn't ask me why. But my eyes widened as I remembered why I actually DID invite him over and that I'd have to tell him to accomplish it. I started to get fidgety again, sitting up and bouncing in anxiety. I cursed under my breath as I grasped my Ushanka's flaps. DAMNIT.**

** 'What am I going to do when he gets here, I can't act all pansy and shy; that's retarded. But, I can't act like I want to kill him because I need his help… why this weekend, Kyle, why did you agree to this?' I said to myself, biting off what was left of my nails. Especially that my mother and father are off in Turkey and my brother is at his friend Georgie's house; it's just a bit odd for me to be doing this.**

**I mean, just cause I kept my mother a promise doesn't mean I need to follow it and all; but I always keep my word. I'm a faithful, Jewish citizen and I have descent morals. And that SUCKS sometimes, but, usually it keeps me up and running. However, today I'm more like dying. **

**I hear the faint noise of a doorbell, and freeze for a moment, everything through my head starts banging into one another and I feel dizzy as I stand to go down stairs. I literally galloped my way to the door before huffing and yanking it open; wearing the best poker face I could pull. **

**The air was fricken cold and windy, making me shiver. The snow was still falling, but very lightly. I looked to see him standing there, hands in his pockets. He lost some weight as he progressed into high school, definitely not obese anymore; but he wasn't Kenny either, so-**

**"Why'd you call me over here, Kahl, hmmm?"**

**He prolonged as he interrupted my comparing thoughts of him and Kenny, as he stepped into my house and banged his feet to the welcome mat, getting some snow off of them. I shut the door and sighed agitated at him when he gave me a smug I really have to deal with THIS…?**


	2. Raspberry Nerves

**He looked over his shoulder, mocking me in contempt. I sneered at him and rolled my eyes, pushing pass him.**

**He snorted, gaining my attention as I entered my kitchen. **

**"So, Jew, why call on this cold Saturday, hmm?"**

**I paused as my backed faced him. I poured myself a glass of raspberry ginger ale as he waited for my answer. My face screwed up into a nervous look as I shakily poured my glass half way full. I breathed in and out slowly before turning with a pissed smile on. I will not take crap today. I glared as he quirked an eyebrow. **

**"Um, yeah, that,"**

**I said with a bit of a breathy voice. Cartman edged in, leaning on the island counter top. Jesus, I began to stutter.**

**"W-well, um, I wanted to ask if you could…um, if you could teach me..." **

**I looked at Cartman, who had a nasty glint in his eyes. **

**"How…to…" "God, just spit it out Jew, I ain't got all day,"**

**I glared and crossed my arms. Liar; He had nothing else to do but sit on his fat ass eating cheesy puffs all day.**

**"You know what, forget it- I'll just call someone else to teach me how to slow dance-""-SLOW DANCE? Oh Mah GOD, Kahl, You are so gay," he started to laugh. "So gay," **

**he murmured under his laughter, wiping his eye from his hard laughter.**

**"No, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he chuckled, stopping my hand as I reached to call someone else instead.**

**He breathed in and smiled very foul. "So Little Kyle wants to learn how to SLOW DANCE, Aye?" I glared even more narrow then before, pulling my hand from his. "So?" I spat, backing away from him, and swerved around the island in the kitchen. I turned, perfectly opposite of him. "****_So_****_," _****he began, making his fingers tip-toe on the counter. **

**"I think you have come to the wrong person," Cartman said, smirking lightly. **

**I rolled my eyes and pushed myself away from his area, turning to get myself a toothpick. **

**"You were the only one left; Stan is on a camping trip with his uncle and Kenny had gone with him. I would've gone if I didn't have some stupid dance to attend with some stupid girl I don't really like. So that leaves you, so deal with it-""-Tucker is a great ball-room dancer. Of course, I wouldn't expect a Jew with a low IQ to know that though; but he is," **

**He finished his interruption, picking his nails nonchalantly. I stared blankly at his words, ignoring his snide comment about my IQ, my hands to my sides. **

**Craig Tucker flashed through my overcrowded mind and DAMNIT all I saw was that boringly blank face, that dark, long hair at his chin ****and that lean figure sweeping me across the dance floor...**

**My toothpick fell from my mouth as I stared ****straight ****ahead as I watched Cartman fish around in his pockets.**

**Cartman picked up his phone and dialed in Tuckers numbered, as we longingly waited for him to answer the call. **

** Tension started to build in the air, ****Cartman coughed and my eye twitched. I tried to release the tension, taking a slow and long sip of my cup. **

**When I heard Craig's nasally voice murmur a simple, monotone"What?" through the static of the phone, I knew this day would hold agony when I felt the Raspberry-flavored liquid make it's way down my closing throat . **

* * *

**OH GOD I CAN'T EVEN. **

**I like this idea, i don't know why i find it entertaining to watch Kyle suffer through this but**

**If you're confused; Kyle was forced to go out with Rebecca (who is Jewish in this) To a ball-room dancing party by his mom...who is out protesting with his father, and IDK maybe Ike will show up shomehwere heheh .**


End file.
